So I started online dating back in 1998 when everybody told me “You’re crazy and going to get killed”. I always considered myself “relationship challenged” and that was when I was still drinking.
Maybe that was one of the problems; in fact most likely it was the main problem.
Along with the excitement of new beginnings, you might find that getting sober can be lonely. Even though toxic relationships with people, places and things can release you, they also create a big hole.
But should you get romantically involved while in early recovery?
Can dating endanger your progress in recovery or sobriety? Experts recommend that people refrain from making big decisions and significant changes right away (for at least 12 months after getting sober).
I was dysfunctional and only attracted to dysfunctional men.
And let’s face it, drinkers like to hang with other drinkers.
And yes there are quite a variety of dating websites to help you through the process of finding “your perfect match”.
But, when you add into the mix the fact that you are now living a sober lifestyle and hoping to find a partner who lives the same lifestyle, as well as with similar interests to yourself, where do you go?
I was 24, and three years sober; it was our first date. A couple pulls and I could move through a world finally set in its right lights, warm and loose. The slide from plump to chubby to fat — the kind of fat that earned me an induction to Weight Watchers at 11 — would be swift and brutal.
We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant, then celebrated the spring warmth with ice cream. There is all manner of beauty pageantry in the South, from the formal to the casual to the unconscious; if you were a little girl who was not cute, could not tumble, clog, or warble Reba Mc Entire songs, you were fucked but good.
Two dysfunctional, active alcoholics do not make for the best relationship!