Another reason it’s important for men to pay for a date is that it sends a clear message of your intentions.
Showing you’ve thought about the other person is what matters, and on a first date, paying is a way to do that.
If you don’t have a lot of money, you can choose an inexpensive date so that you can cover the costs.
But the mixed signals from readers made me think twice.
When one commenter accused a diarist of “mooching off her boyfriend,” another told her to “absolutely never feel guilty about letting the bf pay, when he makes 3X your salary!
But in these situations you want to tell her to put the purse away. That spending time with her and seeing that she is taken care of is more important than the handful of dollars you’re spending. It’s not often but every once in a while you may go on a date with a woman who absolutely refuses to let you pay for her. Offer to pay for her but if she is really persistent about it then just split the bill.
There are some good reasons why a woman may insist on paying for herself.“You aren't saving money by mooching off your man at every chance.”The criticism of these women surprised me, because I’ve always thought that in long-term relationships, there's a little give and take when it comes to money.My boyfriend and I developed a system that allows us to contribute proportionally, since he makes more than I do.Aside from whether men should hold the door for women, few seemingly frivolous issues have fanned the flames of anti-feminism as much as who should pay for dates between men and women.It’s a subject that seems to never die — see yesterday’s Guardian feature on “Paying while dating” — because there are always a subset of men who insist that it’s absolutely unfair that as the world has gotten closer to gender equality, men are still expected to pick up the check.After all you want her to be able to relax and enjoy her time with you.