The real action at a Florida tennis match took place off the court.As Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger competed in the Sarasota Open on Tuesday night, their match was interrupted by a couple having sex across the way.Love is wonderful, love is joy, love is the greatest thing in the world… Marriage is hard work.(Older people are nodding right now while young people are probably sticking their fingers in their ears and reciting their favorite lines from “The Notebook.”)So how do you make love last? ” Um, let’s stop right there…Because the research shows Another recent paper summarized the results of 313 separate studies, concluding that the similarity of personality and preferences—such as, the scientists say, “matching people who prefer Judd Apatow’s movies to Woody Allen’s with people who feel the same way”— had no effect on relationship well-being.
There are plenty of good reasons to utter the words “lets just be friends” after a first date.
Perhaps there was no chemistry or a lack of shared interests, or maybe he was just a little bit of a dick.
Researcher Eli Finkel argues that the algorithms they use are really no better than random chance because the idea that the person we should be seeking out is our doppelganger ends up leading us astray.
John Gottman at the University of Washington has amassed a persuasive body of evidence that meta-emotions are the real signal variable in terms of predicting whether or not a marriage will last. Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out? What Gottman has found is that people who have clashing meta-emotional styles, they have a really tough time dealing with conflict.
But when you look at meta-analyses of thousands and thousands of couples you find that similarity is insignificant.
It’s less than 1% of the variation in overall marital satisfaction.
I called somebody who looked at the research and has some answers…Jonah Lehrer is the author of Imagine and How We Decide. A lot of what you’re about to read is very unsexy and very unromantic. In short, what we think we want in a spouse—someone who is just like us and likes all the same things—and what we want in real life are fundamentally mismatched.
Ruling someone out because they love Coldplay and don’t appreciate the subtle genius of Radiohead is a bad idea.
The purpose of our discussion--indeed, the purpose of our lives--is to seek out and live God's will for us. If they present alternate possibilities, I ask which one they are inclined to think is God's will. From recent graduates and older people I hear: Is God calling me to move and change my job? I thought I was called to marriage, but it's been a long time and I haven't found anyone to marry. Most Catholics follow God's commandments and the teachings of the church.